The Scripture of She

If I were to speak to the purpose of being, I would prepare for a complicated conversation. The simplicity of “just being” is not so very simple. The definition of things gets decidedly messy because words are often woefully inadequate when contemplating everything involved inside the meaning of something.

When I was a young girl, I was told things that were meant to help me navigate life. Most of those things were useless in the actual navigation, but I can appreciate the effort that well-meaning people tried to put forth. Admittedly, the things that I would tell someone now might be just as useless since we tend to see wisdom from a subjective perspective and usually pass it on from the same place. Therefore, I’m sure this will only be helpful to a handful of oddities. You know who you are.

Remember yourself above all. People say this is selfish. And it surely is. And what else should a woman be in order to not lose her own being? From the moment we are asleep in the belly of another we are learning that we shall be creatures of concession and possession. When we come into this world, we are told that this is the way of it. I say the way of it is to resist. And persist. Some days this can be openly done. Others it will be subversive by necessity for survival, figuratively or literally. Believe, even as they tell you otherwise, that you belong to yourself. And by virtue of that, you are already whole.

Remember that barriers, in addition to boundaries, are acceptable practices. They keep things from shifting underneath you, as often happens when war is upon us. And it is upon us every day. Make no mistake in the knowledge of this. The expectation is obedience. Drive that notion from your soul. Remove the word and even the thought of it from your language. Some battles will be fought in silence, but never stop breaking the spear.

Be a keeper of your own secrets. The knowledge of darkness and light has always belonged to us. Do not desecrate it by engaging in the fodder of others, nor by tarnishing the words meant to be whispered over a fire. Spells are cast in a circle for a reason, the impenetrable strength of its power held close.

If it is not romantic love that you desire, dare to keep track of what makes you want to take to the night and ride the fast horse. This is where passion lies. Don’t worry so much that the touch of a man (or a woman) does not stir you. Ask yourself in all honesty what it is that moves you? What makes your heart quicken? What makes your heart break? Follow it.

Dress up. Dress down. Do whichever of these makes you feel good inside your own skin. It will take a while to find this peace but do not apologize once you do. Dolly Parton is beautiful inside and out. And so is the One who lives in the forest with bare feet, tangled hair and mud under her nails.

A lack of desire for motherhood is not a reflection of your worth as a woman. Nor as a human being. Your womb is as much for you as another. It is the rim of the root of yourself and where you are grounded to the earth and the sea. Life is within you whether it be in the form of a child, or a story of a soul sent into this world to love and laugh and hope. This is your life to live.

While you are on that fast horse, racing for the place where your Queen waits to receive the secrets upon your lips, remember your sisters. Understand where we have been and what we have known. See through all the layers and centuries of the commodities that have been deemed our language. Give each other grace whenever you can and promise to meet again by another fire in another life.

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